Prompt: A five-year-old asks you, "Where do babies come from?"
It was the last thing that Minato had expected to hear from his young son. Naruto had many questions; the boy never seemed to run out of them. "Why is the sky blue?" was pretty common... he'd explained that what seemed like five hundred times and Naruto still couldn't quite grasp the concept.
However, this was on a completely different level.
The young boy had burst through the door to his office in a lively fashion, blue eyes wide with curiosity. "Tou-san (1)," he exclaimed, "I have a question!"
This was not at all an unusual occurence in the office. His assistants were quite used to his son randomly appearing at odd times to demand his attention, and Minato didn't mind a break from his paperwork. "Yes, Naruto?"
"Well... Sakura-chan said at school today that she was going to get a baby brother." Minato's brow furrowed... that wasn't a question. "She said that he was going to come out of her mommy's tummy, but Kiba-chan's mommy said that babies come from cabbage leaves and we couldn't figure out how they got there!"
Oh dear Kami... "Tou-san... where do babies come from?"
He could almost smell the amusement of his every-present assistants, who were wisely looking in the opposite direction and pretending not to listen. Outside, he heard the snort of one of his guards choking back laughter. It's not funny.
"Uh... well..." He cleared his throat and bit his lip. "You see, Naruto... When a mommy and a daddy love each other--"
"Like you and Kaa-chan (2), right?"
"Right... So when they love each other a lot, a big white stork comes and gifts them with a baby." Damn it, why me? He knew he wasn't imagining the muffled giggles now.
"But Tou-san, that doesn't explain where babies come from! They don't just appear out of thin air, do they? Like clones?" Naruto seemed genuinely curious about the subject. "And if they leave babies... Do they leave them in the cabbage leaves or in the mommy's tummy? I'm confused. If Sakura's mommy has a baby in her tummy, how'd it get there?"
Why must he be at the age where every question leads to another question that leads to another question?
"Well, Sakura-chan is right. Babies are put in their mommy's tummies until they're ready to come out. As for how they get there... You'll find out when you're older."
An adorable pout came to Naruto's lips. "But Tou-san, I wanna know now."
"Well, we don't always get what we want, do we?" Minato sighed and leaned back in his comfy chair... oh the luxuries of being Hokage (3). "Good shinobi (4) are patient."
This seemed to placate the child at least a little. For a few moments, anyway.
"Tou-san, I have another question."
Minato sighed. "Yes, Naruto?"
"You and Kaa-chan love each other very, very much, right? That's why the stork came and lefted me with you, right?"
Resisting the urge to correct the young boy's grammar, Minato nodded agreeably. "That's right. Kaa-san and I love each other very much, so now we have you."
"Does that mean that if you loved Kaa-chan even more then I could have a baby brother, too?"
A red flush suddenly worked its way up Minato's cheeks all the way to his hairline. "I-- Well-- That's--" Both of his assistants were nearly choking on their laughter now. If only he knew what he was saying. Why couldn't he ask something less humiliating? "Kaa-san and I don't need another baby; we have you already."
Naruto pouted. "But I want a brother."
Once again... "We don't always get what we want, Naruto."
The boy gave him one of those looks, the kind that make you feel as if you've just kicked a completely innocent puppy. "For my birthday...?"
Sigh. "Naruto..."
Note: I'm just going to end it here, because I have other things to do. Anyway, all around, I think five-year-old Naruto is pretty cute. At least Minato got out of telling him the birds and the bees. For that, he should be grateful, ne?
(1) Tou-san - roughly "Dad"
(2) Kaa-chan - roughly "Mom" or "Mommy"
(3) Hokage - leader of the village
(4) shinobi - ninjas
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