Stream of Consciousness: Uchiha Itachi

Prompt: Write a five minute stream of consciousness

Note: My sister has chosen Itachi as my first victim. I will rant about him for five minutes and attempt to keep it G-rated.

Itachi Uchiha
red eyes
Sharingan
awesome power lol
killed by brother
sucks, there's no way Sasuke could beat him like that
if he weren't dying than Sasuke would never have won
*sobs* why did he have to die? *sniffle*
I <3
Because he's awesome
and sexy
and Itachi
Weasel, weasel, weasel
Itachi means weasel, by the way :D
His partner is Kisame
That's fish-boy, if you didn't already know
He's not important, no one cares about him... back to Itachi
murdered his entire clan on the orders of Danzo
so sad, he just wanted to rescue Sasuke *sniffle* such beautiful brotherly love!
Why did he have to die?
Moving on now...
Traumatized Sasuke... makes me want to cheer
cause I hate Sasuke
Itachi is like a thousand times cooler
loves poking his brother in the forehead
apparently he likes onigiri
he looks like a girl... I mean, seriously, his eyelashes are like so pretty most girls would just die to have them. I think they're amazing, and he's a freaking boy.
Not. Fair.
oh... when he dies he pokes Sasuke... so sad... it almost made me cry
But don't tell anyone, okay?
And then his face his the wall and just slid down... and I was like "Huh?"
And then somehow he landed face up on the ground (I was very confused)
And then he was resurrected by Kabuto-Orochimaru-hybrid-monster-thing for Madara
That just makes me hate Madara even more, because Itachi died happy, damnit
Although, truthfully, I would have liked it better if he didn't murder his best friend and then murder his whole clan and mentally torture his baby brother into growing up to become a psychotic maniac obsessed with gaining enough power to viciously murder him in revenge
Did I mention that I hate Sasuke?
To be fair, Itachi really said some horrible things to the poor boy, and he was only like eight... or was it seven? I can't remember
And then he just ups and leaves...

Note: Okay, finished...
And that was my five minute rant about Uchiha Itachi
Though I could have written more
But this is enough for now.